Truth or Dare
by macadoodles
Summary: Time to have a little fun. You can ask questions or dare any character from Alice! Please send in your dares! Rated T just to be safe! If you read this Tarrant will give you a virtual cookie!
1. Chapter 1

***Disclaimer* **

**I own nothing at all! Alice in Wonderland (2010) is the property of Disney and the amazing Tim Burton.**

Me: I'm new at fanfiction, but I love Alice in Wonderland, so I decided to have a little fun with it. I'm going to do a truth or dare on the movie. Anybody can be asked the truth or dared, including me! I'm just going to use my OC's name, Mazie.

Stayne: Oh, this should be _excellent_. *drinks tea*

Tarrant: Shut up, Stayne. Where's my tea?

Me: Over there, Tarrant.

Stayne: *spitting* What's in this tea?!?!

Me: Mally, did you put an eye in Stayne's tea again?

Mallymkun: I did no such thing! It was all Chessur's idea!

Alice: Please dare us! We need to get this game started!

McTwisp: I fully agree. We're quite late, you know. Time's ticking.

Me: You can use any character from the movie, although please keep the dares and truths T or under. As soon as we get a few good things, I'll set up another chapter. Let the game begin!

Tweedle-dee: The game's beginning, everyone!

Tweedle-dum: Everyone, the game needs to begin!

**Please send in your dares!!! **

**Thanks, Mazie/macadoodles**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the dares, but I need more so keep sending them in! And remember, you can pick ANY character from Alice. I just have a few in my circle right now: Me, Tarrant, Alice, McTwisp, Mallymkun, Mirana, Stayne, the Tweedles, and Chessur. But you can bring in Hamish or Iracebeth if you want or somebody else. **

Me: Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long...but still...it's time to play Truth or Dare!

Tarrant: FINALLY! And I've been sitting here with my tea getting cold.

Tweedle-dee: Where are we, exactly?

Tweedle-dum: Contrary wise, exactly we are where?

Me: My living room! Safest place in the house. *reads notecard* Alright, first, from Dumb Genius, Tarrant....I'm really sorry, but you have to let Chess wear your hat for an hour. Oh, and Dumb Genius is sorry too...*looks up* Where's Tarrant?

McTwisp: Oh, he said he went to Wal-mart for an hour. Apparently we're out of tea.

Me: *annoyed* WELL GO GET HIM!

McTwisp: Right away, miss.

Me: AND TAKE THE BANDERSNATCH WITH YOU!

Stayne: Wow. You remind me of the Red Queen...loud.

Me: Honestly, he agreed to play this game even with the loss of his hat at stake. We'll come back to him. Next, from Miss T, Alice, do you have a crush on anybody in the circle and who? And let's just imagine _Tarrant _was here.

Alice: What?!? I am NOT revealing the....object of my affections.

Mallymkun: Oh, come on, Alice, he's not even here!  
Alice: I can't say that I like Tarrant!

Me: But you just did.

Alice:....Please excuse me. *leaves room*

Mirana: I had a feeling she liked Tarrant more than a friend.

Me: What's wrong, Stayne? You seem more murderous than usual.

Stayne: I hoped she liked me.

Mallymkun: YOU? *bursts out laughing*

Stayne: Would someone please silence the rat?  
Mallymkun: RAT?!?! I WILL NOT BE COMPARED TO SOME VERMIN ON THE STREETS!!

Me: Moving on! Stayne, Miss T dares you to dance the hokey pokey-

Stayne: *swears profusely*

Me: -while Mally pokes your feet.

Mallymkun: MY PLEASURE!!!

Me: Wait, hold on! *gets laptop* okay....begin! *plays hokey pokey*

Laptop: "You put your right foot in-"

Stayne: *growls* OW!

Mallymkun: This is the best day of my life! *pokes Stayne's feet*

Laptop: "You put your right foot out-"

Stayne: OW! Your mouseling friend is about to become shish-kabob if she pokes me once more...

Laptop: "You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around-"

Stayne: OW! THAT'S IT!! *chases Mallymkun out of the room*

Me: That's what it's all about!

McTwisp: I'm back!  
Me: Where's Tarrant?

Tarrant: *mopey* Right here.

Mirana: Hatter! Why are you in handcuffs?

Tarrant: Never mind, just give that ball of fur my hat and get this over with!

Chessur: I can never repay you for this, old friend.  
Tarrant: YOU WON'T, YOU SLITHY TOVE!!

Mirana: My greatest condolences, Tarrant.

Alice: *walks back in* Tarrant! You're back! *hugs him*

Me: And now that you two are together, Miss T wants you to kiss.

Alice: What?  
Chessur: Kiss. By defintion, that's "to join lips in affection, passion, love, etc."

Tarrant: I agreed to the rules of the game.

Alice: Me, too. *kisses Tarrant*  
Everyone else: AWWH!!!!!

Mallymkun: You're ruining the moment!

Me: MALLY?!?! Where's Stayne?

Mallymkun: Oh, uh.......

Me: MALLYMKUN!!!!!!

What has Mally done with Stayne? Will Tarrant show his true feelings for Alice as she admitted her love for him? Why am I asking questions like a soap opera? You're the people who are supposed to be asking the questions!!! Please send some more in!


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, Round TWO! Thanks again for all the dares and questions! I really would like to thank all the readers of this story! This can't go on without you guys! And by request from Salsaxxx, I've decided to bring in Thackery (March Hare) Earwicket! Enjoy!**

Me: Hello again! Day two of Truth or Dare! It depends on how you take it, if it's good or bad news, if you're a Stayne fangirl or not, but our dear Ilosovic is still missing.

Everyone: YES!

Chessur: Thank you, Mally, for ridding us of that menacing giant.

Mallymkun: *bows*

Me: Mally, we're going to have to find him. I've got quite a few dares that he's probably not going to like, but we still need him.

Mallymkun: You know you're a bubble burster, right?

Me: Well, I guess we don't need him right now...I'll find him later. *DING DONG!*

McTwisp: I'll get it!

Mirana: Wonder who that could be...

McTwisp: AAAAHHHHHH!

Me: Well, that can't be good. *footsteps approaching*

Mirana: Hello, Racie.

Iracebeth: Hello, little sister. Mirana.

Me: I'm sorry everybody, but we need her for truth or dare. And by request from DieDoodels, Mirana, you're going to wear red, and Iracebeth, you need to wear white.

Iracebeth: UGH! I have to wear that GHASTLY shade of white?

Mallymkun: *cough* moron *cough* *cough*

Mirana: If I must, then I will. *leaves room*

Iracebeth: Fine. But there must be something in this for me! *leaves*

Me: Oh, there will be something as soon as we find our dear, dear Ilosovic.

Mallymkun: Aw, does someone have a soft spot for him? WELL, YOU BETTER NOT!

Me: I'm not saying I do. Okay, Dum and Dee, you have to agree with each other, no matter what, by request of DieDoodels.

Tweedle-dum: I'm not agreeing with what this borogove says!  
Tweedle-dee: Contrary-wise, I'm..........a borogove.

Tweedle-dum: I'm thirsty, Dee. Let's go get some drinks for everybody. Is a Coke alright?

Tweedle-dee: I WANT LEMONA-

Me: Dee!

Tweedle-dee:........Soda's fine. *trudges out of the room*

Iracebeth: I'm back! Don't I make this dress look _riveting_?

Everyone:......

Iracebeth: WELL?

Me: Well, now that you're back, chibiryoko92 wants you NOT to yell at anyone this entire episode.

Iracebeth: *face reddening* I do not yell at people.  
Everyone: .........*LAUGHTER!*

*ten minutes later*

Alice: *gasping* I think....I'm going to pass out.....from laughing....  
Thackery: I NEED A SPOON!

Me: Where did you come from?  
Thackery: ...........How do I put this? Okay, when a daddy rabbit and a mommy rabbit love each other very much-

Me: NO! Like, how did you get in my HOUSE?

Thackery: Oh, I had the door.

Me:.........

Iracebeth: Any more dares?  
Me: Yes, but we'll need Stayne for it.

Iracebeth: My dear Ilosovic is here?

Me: Hopefully, I have no idea where Mally put him. I have a dare for Tarrant!

Tarrant: Oh, frabjous day! What is it?  
Me: Salsaxxx wants you not to drink tea for a week.

Tarrant: WHERE DOES SALSAXXX LIVE? HOW COULD HE OR SHE DO THIS TO ME?

Me: You're very popular, Tarrant, but that doesn't mean people don't like to mess with you. Actually, it's quite fun.

Tarrant: YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I THOUGHT LOSING MY HAT WAS BAD ENOUGH, BUT NO! YOU HAVE TO TAKE AWAY MY TEA TOO! YOU-

Mirana: HATTER!

Iracebeth: And you people say I yell a lot! You're all hypocrites! OFF WITH-

Bandersnatch: *ROARS*  
Iracebeth: I'll be quiet now.

Me: Can we _please _get on with the game now? McTwisp, again from Salsaxxx, have you ever been late in your life?

McTwisp: Actually, yes, once. My, uh, friend of the.......female gender wished me to arrive at her house, and I was working for the Horsefly Express at the time, and I arrived later than she expected.....I was so ashamed. She said she'd never speak to me again, and I swore never to be late again.

Me: Fascinating. Now, Mally, find Stayne else we can't play the game!  
Mallymkun: FINE! He's in the closet. I gagged him.

Me: Well, the game must go on. Alice, from BlinkYourEyes, convince everyone of your undying love for.....oh, my.

Alice: What is it?  
Me: Convince everyone you love _Hamish_!  
Alice: But I don't!

Chessur: I'm sorry, my dear, but according to the rules-

Alice: Yes, yes, I know. *sighs* I love Hamish Ascot with all my heart. I love his hair as red as apples, and I absolutely adore his.....digestive problems.

Iracebeth: He's quite a keeper, isn't he?

Mallymkun: I'm back! *dragging Stayne behind her*  
Stayne: *muffled screaming*  
Iracebeth: Oh, Stayne! What have they done to you?

Stayne: *screams louder and scoots away*

Me: Stayne, relax. *undoes rope around mouth and wrists and ankles*

Stayne: You have my undying loyalty, Mazie.

Iracebeth: And what do I have, Ilosovic?

Stayne:.....Uh....

Iracebeth: Oh, goody! Where is this, "uh"?

Stayne: *facepalm*

Me: McTwisp, from BlinkYourEyes, have you ever had an affair?  
McTwisp: Oh my ears and whiskers, no!

Me: Okay then. Stayne, you have to drink lots of Pishalver. Love from, Salsaxxx.

Thackery: YOU'RE LATE FOR TEA!

Stayne: SHUT UP! IT'S ALL THAT ANNOYING RAT'S FAULT!

Mallymkun: WHY DON'T YOU SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

Stayne: ALRIGHT! *drinks Pishalver* COME AND GET ME, YOU INSOLENT RODENT!

Me: Since you've worn red this entire episode, Mirana, Naomily4EVA wants you to wear black for a whole week.

Mirana: The color of death? If I must....it goes against my vows, but I must abide by the rules. *leaves room*

Me: Anyone else here think she has to many vows?

Everyone: Maybe. YES!

Me: And readers! How many times did she say that in the movie? I'd like to know. Somebody tell me!

Tarrant: Here, Stayne!

Stayne: What do you want, you insane hat-maker?

Tarrant: You'll need this Upelkuchen.

Stayne: *eats it* Now, why do I have to be large now?

Me: Because you have to play 7 minutes in Heaven with Iracebeth. All thanks to Naomily4EVA!

Stayne: *pale-faced* WHAT?

Iracebeth: Come on, Stayne! *drags him out of room*

Stayne: NO! HELP ME MAZIE!

Me: I'm really sorry, Ilosovic.

Thackery: Sure you're sorry. He got what he deserves, that slimy, uncaring, worthless piece of-

Me: Okay! On with the game.

Mirana: I'm back.

Alice: Mirana! You look....goth.

Me: And Mirana, BlinkYourEyes want you to do the Futterwacken. **A/N I don't know how that's spelled!**

Mirana: O Frabjous Day!

Tarrant: But wait! We need music!

Lady Gaga: *walks in* Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna talk anymore! I left my head and my heart on the dance floor!

Mirana: Works for me. *futterwackens*  
Lady Gaga: Can call all you want but there's no one home and you're not gonna reach my telephone! Alright, I'm done. Thanks for inviting me, Mazie. *leaves*

Me: Later! Mallymkun, again from BlinkYourEyes, have you ever lost a battle with your needle?  
Mallymkun: No! I never have. That's why all you kids out there need to carry a needle with you AT ALL TIMES!  
Stayne: *in a daze* uh....help me...

Me: Are you alright, Stayne?

Stayne: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Tarrant: Where's Iracebeth?  
Stayne: She left. But Mazie, she took your laptop. I think she went to go blog.

Me: WHAT? Well, Stayne, from BlinkYourEyes, do you sleep with a night-light?

Stayne: FOR A GOOD REASON!

Thackery: Por que?

Stayne: I DON'T LISTEN TO TELEKINETIC RABBITS!  
Chessur: Calm yourself, he just asked why.

Stayne:......I'm afraid the Red Queen will kill me in my sleep.

Alice: Yes, she'll kill you because she loves you. Makes perfect sense.

Me: Sorry to end on a boring note, but that's it for today. Please send some more dares in....and what's that noise? *screaming*  
Tarrant: AH! FANGIRLS ARE ATTACKING YOUR DWELLING!  
Me: EVERYBODY! INTO MY SECRET ROOM!

What will happen next? And so the story continues! See you next week!


	4. Chapter 4

**WOAH! So so sorry everyone! Lo siento! Désolé! Przepraszam! Më fal! I've been really busy, then I took a vacation. As a reward for being ever so patient, here's the latest Truth or Dare. Really, I thank everyone who's read this. Your reviews make my boring day. =D**

Me: Oh, since the fangirls invaded my house AND my secret room, we're on to Escape Plan æ. We're at my friend's house! Everyone, this is Song.

Song: Hi! Everyone, you're welcome to stay as long as you want.

Me: Song, we're only here until the fangirls and maybe fanguys clear out of my house.

Alice: I've never met a fanguy.

Me: I have, and trust me, it really depends on what they're obsessed with. My best guy friend is obsessed with Bruce Lee. Joe, if you're reading this, you know of my obsession with Tim Burton and fanfiction. Anyways, I'm rambling worse than Tarrant.

Tarrant: Hm? Shall you speak now? Or do I have to make you a hat? Bonnet or a boater? Tam o' shanter, bicorne, tricorne, billycock, fedora, beanie, cowboy, top hat, straw hat, fez-

Mallymkun: HATTER!

Tarrant: Fez?

Me: Mally, since you've spoken fifth, I have a dare for you. From Captain Phantom Glass, have you ever kissed a boy?

Mallymkun: *runs to the door*

Thackery: CATCH her!

Chessur: *appears* Come now, Mally, they're just asking you an honest question...

Mallymkun: QUIET, YOU FRUMIOUS CAT!

Stayne: Speak up. I don't think the neighbors heard you.

Mallymkun:...His name was Stuart.

Me: Not _the_ Stuart?

Song: Stuart Little?

Mallymkun: I met him while traveling abroad! Not my fault! STOP LAUGHING AT ME! *pokes people's feet*

Me: Hey, no biggie. A lot have people haven't been kissed yet, so you're pretty lucky. Honestly, I've never been kissed either. But that's okay too. From chibiryoko92, Chess, no smiling.

Chessur: I shall resist.

Me: Okay, from Nellie Lovett Gracey, Iracebeth, you have to dress up like Bellatrix Lestrange and act like her all day.

Iracebeth: Who?

Me: Oh, and Tarrant, you're going to be Sweeney Todd, offer Stayne a shave, and sing.

Tarrant: Yes, yes, but who is this Sweeney Todd person?

Me: FYI, Bellatrix is from Harry Potter.

Iracebeth: WHO'S HARRY POTTER?

Song: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO HARRY POTTER IS?

Me: Harry Potter, my not-so-good frienemy, is a wizard. He's SOOO much cooler than Twilight. **again, if you haven't seen my page, I'm really sorry for bashing!**

Alice: Unlike you, RACIST RACIE!

Iracebeth: ZIP YOUR FACE, UM!** lol, that's for you, Chester!**

Alice: I thought she wasn't supposed to scream.

Me: That was last time, where have you been? GAWD!

Tarrant: I am still not knowing who this Todd Sweeney is.

Song: He's the Demonic Barber of Fleet Street! I've seen that movie like, 27 10/6 times!

Me: Iracebeth, Bellatrix is evil, has wild hair, and is crazy.

Alice: The Red Queen has three of those three characteristics. Why does she have to dress up?

Iracebeth: *face reddening* OFF WITH-

Me: JUST GO GET DRESSED YOU TWO! *they leave* I think I'm getting a migraine.

Stayne: You're not the only one, honey.

Me: You're starting to creep me out, Stayne. Anyways, from Salsaxxx, Alice, if you had to pick, who would you marry, Stayne or Hamish?

Alice: *shifts uncomfortably in seat* Um...do I have to say it with Stayne here?

Me: I'll be a meanie today and say...yes.

Alice: I'd marry Hamish.

Stayne: (dumbfounded) Why? WHY, UM?

Alice: Well, I'd much rather deal with digestive problems than an assassin.

Me: Alright, Song, why don't you ask the next question?

Song: Sure! Okay, Mallymkun, do you have a crush on anyone? Love, Salsaxxx.

Mallymkun: NO! I don't, after Stuart, and I don't think I'll ever see him again...but if I do-

Song: Oh, and Salsaxxx also dares you to eat lots of Upelkuchen.

Mallymkun: YES! *eats* Ready to battle me, fair and square, Knave?

Stayne: May I, Mazie? Song?

Me: Yeah, but do it outside, okay? I don't need Song's mom screaming at me later just because you guys broke her house.

(Stayne and Mally run out and Tarrant and Iracebeth come in)

Song: Oh. My. Cookies. Hear that? That's my pulse racing because I LOVE YOU TARRANT! SWEENEY TODD LOOKS SOOOOO GOOD ON YOU!

Me: 'Memba, you have to act like the person you are.

Iracebeth: Well, this isn't too hard. I KILLED (**this information has ****been blocked for anyone who hasn't read or seen the fifth Harry ****Potter**)! I KILLED *beeeeeeep beeeeeeeep*!

*Stayne comes in with Mallymkun in a jar*

Song: STAYNE! WHAT'D YOU DO TO MALLY?

Stayne: She got what she deserved.

Song: AND SO WILL YOU! TARRANT, DO YOUR STUFF!

Tarrant: Oh, goody! *sits Stayne down in a chair* Pretty women. Now then, my friend. Now to your purpose. Patience, enjoy it. Revenge can't be taken in haste! Pretty women!

Blowing out their candles or  
Combing out their hair,  
Combing out their hair then they leave  
Even when they leave you and vainish they somehow can still can remain there with you  
Even when they leave  
They still are there.  
They're there  
Ah! Pretty women! There, done! *hands Stayne a mirror*

Stayne: YOU'VE SHAVED MY MUSTACHE I WAS GROWING!

Tarrant: Yep. Difficult little critter it was.

Me: Wait! Tarrant, from Salsaxxx, how often do you wear kilts and if you had to marry Mirana, Alice, or Iracebeth, who would it be?

Tarrant: I'd say I wear kilts about 3, maybe 4 times a week. And...I'd marry Alice Kingsley, of course! She's got more muchness than the average American, I'd say.

Song: And Iracebeth, from chibiryoko92, why did you behead your husband?

Iracebeth: BECAUSE HE WAS CHEATING ON ME WITH THAT GOODY-TWO SHOES-

Bandersnatch: *ROARS*

Iracebeth:...Mirana.

Everyone: *audible GASP!*

Chessur: Alright, alright, this isn't Grey's Anatomy. Now get on with it, I want to be able to smile!

Me: Thackery, why don't you read this dare?

Thackery: YAY! From Gazingmoon, Stayne kissy Alice, then fights with reddish, orangish haired hatter.

Stayne: My pleasure. *grabs, dips, kisses Alice*

Alice: ...help. He tasted like Gurdyroots!

Tarrant: *brandishes sword* How dare you kiss Alice! FIGHT YOU COWARDLY SCRIM!

Me: Well, that's all the time for today. See ya later!

**A/N Okay, guys, I know it's asking a lot from you, but if you're a Harry Potter fan, I want to help some of my friends who are just starting on FF and writing HP fanfics. DaDemonLovesMalfoy and MusicIsLife735 are my best friends. If you have time! Thanks a whole bunch.**

**VIRTUAL COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks so much for all the dares! I'm thinking about wrapping this up soon, so if you really badly want this story to continue, let me know. If not, there might be a chapter or two and that's it. Here I am rambling again. On with the story!**

**p.s. I own nothing! Falling in Love At a Coffee Shop belongs to Landon Pigg and Alice in Wonderland (2010) belongs to Tim Burton! And Don't Stop Believing is Journey! Captain Jack is Disney! **

**IMPORTANT: To jjhatter and xXEmoVampirateXx, if you didn't get my messages, I WILL use your dares, but it's for the next chapter, okay? You sent them to me and I had already written this chapter...**

Me: Hey readers! We're back in my house, although we're sitting on the floor because some fangirl stole my couch. And since we forgot to answer this question yesterday, everyone, did you like Iracebeth and Tarrant as Bellatrix and Sweeney Todd or as their normal selves? From Nellie Lovett Gracey if you can't remember.

McTwisp: I personally enjoy Tarrant as his normal self. Though I do like his singing.

Alice: I can't really choose...I liked Sweeney, and as for the Red Queen, I prefer her as Bellatrix. She seems oddly charismatic.

Me: Stayne, please release Mally.

Stayne: Fine.

Mallymkun: *mutters* A dolt if I've ever seen one...

Me: Okay! On with questions. First, from Captain Phantom Glass, Mirana, you have to say exactly what you think for the next 24 hours. Basically, this entire episode.

Mirana: I accept the challenge.

Me: Um...you don't really have a choice.

Mirana: Well, that's not very nice. Forcing us to do this-

Me: You signed up for it!

Tweedle-dee: Can we PLEASE be moving on?

Tweedle-dum: Contrary-wise, are we to be moving forward anytime soon?

Me: Yes, sorry. From The Obsessionist, someone needs to act like a narcoleptic for the entire episode. And they didn't specify, so I'm going to pick Iracebeth.

Iracebeth: Why does everyone HATE me?

Me: I don't know, maybe it's because you're a PSYCHO MANIAC?

Iracebeth: I am not a- *falls asleep*

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Okay, these next dares should be...intriguing.

Iracebeth: What is it this time?

Thackery: PLATYPUSES!

Chessur: I believe it's "platypi."

Thackery: IT'S NOT! Would you care for some Battenburg?

Me: Can I read the dares? From DirtBikeDamzel, Stayne you uh, um...have to wear a pink tutu-

Stayne: WHAT?

Me: And when anyone says your name you have to twirl and say "I'm a pretty girl."

Mallymkun: YES! You got what was coming to you _Stayne._

Stayne: *gets in tutu* I'm a pretty girl.

Tarrant: Oh, that's a good one! Thank you, DirtBikeDamzel!

Me: Wait, there's more. She wants Tarrant to dress up as Jack Sparrow-

Alice, Chessur, Mirana, Iracebeth: _CAPTAIN!_

Me: Sorry! _Captain _Jack Sparrow!

Tarrant: Oh goody! More character study! *leaves room*

Mirana: Let me read the next one.

Me: Excuse me?

Mirana: Let me read the next one because I'm so much prettier than you?

Me: DOUBLE EXCUSE ME?

Mirana: Peas. Now, still from our good friend DirtBikeDamzel, Thackery has to act sane.

Thackery: Define sane!

Chessur: Free from mental derangement; having a sound, healthy mind.

Thackery: My mind is sound! You can hear the blood "whooshing!"

Me: Well, I expect that's as sane as he's going to go. Just don't shout any random words and you'll be fine. *Tarrant comes back*

Tarrant: How do I look mateys?

Alice: Dashing.

Mirana: Handsome.

Iracebeth: I've seen better, haven't *falls asleep*

Stayne: Dreadful.

Me: Well, last but not the least, she dares Tarrant and Alice to get married.

Alice, Tarrant: WHAT?

Me: Hey, she has a reason! "Because they would be a nice couple!" And she also suggests that Alice, you really should have stayed in Underland.

Alice: It's not like I didn't want to!

Mirana: Well, I think I have an extra white dress up in Mazie's room.

Alice: Thanks! *leaves*

Me: Tarrant, sorry, but you have to stay dressed as Jack.

Tarrant: I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! AND GUESS WHAT'S INSIDE IT?

Stayne: Your brain?

Me: While Alice prepares for her wedding, next dare!

Tweedle-dee: Mirana,

Tweedle-dum: Apart from white,

Both Tweedles: What's your favourite colour? Love from Salsaxxx.

Mirana: I enjoy black. Well, it's really a pigment but who really cares?

Chessur: Next dare, still from Salsaxxx, Stayne, do the Can-Can dance.

Stayne: You better watch it, all you readers out there...I'm a pretty girl!

Me: WAIT! *gets laptop _again_*

Laptop: CAN, CAN YOU DO THE CAN CAN?

Stayne: *dances* Can, can you do the Can-Can, can you do the can-can? I hate my life...

Me: Okay, you're done. *stops music*

Alice: I'm back! Mazie, your friends are making me a cake.

Me: Okay? Before we begin the wedding, still from Salsaxxx, I have two questions. First, for Tarrant, what's your favourite memory?

Tarrant: The Frabjous Day of course!

Iracebeth: Don't remind me.

Thackery: Yes, remind her!

Tarrant: Although, that was the day Alice left...I do enjoy futterwackening...

Me: Second question, and this is for everyone. If you were allowed to issue one new law for Underland, what would it be?

Tarrant: This is easy. Everyone would have to wear hats!

Iracebeth: Why am I not surprised-

Tarrant: YOU SHOULD BE!

Iracebeth: DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT *falls asleep*

Mirana: I think I would make it law not to behead or kill any creature.

Iracebeth: Of course you would. I think everyone should bow and serve me, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Me: And you wonder why people don't like you.

McTwisp: For me, there would be a law that I can never be late.

Tweedles: For us, everyone has to bring us kites!

Thackery: BATTENBURG FOR ME! BATTENBURG WHENEVER I WANT IT!

Chessur: I would be able to do whatever I want without anyone contradicting me. Or yelling at me. Or holding grudges against me-

Stayne: Enough of that. I would make it law for everyone to wear leotards.

Me: Why Stayne?

Stayne: TO LAUGH AT PEOPLE THAT'S WHY! I'M A PRETTY GIRL!

Me: Okay...on with the wedding!

*Here comes the bride, blah blah blah, can we have the rings, blah blah blah, I DO!*

Mirana: You may now kiss the bride. *Tarrant/Jack kisses Alice*

Alice: Yay! That was great! Is this official?

Me: Yeppers! Moving on, Tarrant, serenade your wife with a love song of your choice. From Silverwolf407, oh, and by the way Silverwolf407, everyone has something wrong with them. The amount of crazyness just varies in everyone. My level is high, and increasing with each second I spend on here. **O.o**

Tarrant: Certainly! I shall sing "Falling in Love At a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg.

_I think that possibly_

_Maybe I'm falling for you_

_Yes There's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you_

_I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down_

_I want to come too_

_I think that possibly_

_Maybe I'm falling for you_

_No one understands me quite like you do_

_Through all of the shadowy corners of me_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew_

_I think that possibly_

_Maybe I'm falling for you_

_Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you_

_I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine_

_Now I'm shining too_

_Because oh, because I've fallen quite hard over you_

_If I didn't know you I'd rather not know_

_If I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew_

_All of the while_

_All of the while_

_All of the while it was you_

Alice: Aw, thank you Tarrant.

Tarrant: It was no problem, Alice Hightopp.

Everyone: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Me: That was great Tarrant! And someone needs to sing Don't Stop Believing, because The Obsessionist says so and I love that song! I'll sing it but not alone.

Stayne: I'll help!

Me: Thanks Stayne!

Stayne: I'm a pretty girl.

Alice: I'll sing too!

_Just a small town girl_

_Livin' in a lonely world_

_She took the midnight train going anywhere_

_Just a city boy_

_Born and raised in South Detroit_

_He took the midnight train going anywhere_

_A singer in a smokey room_

_The smell of wine and cheap perfume_

_For a smile they can share the night_

_It goes on and on and on and on_

_(Chorus)_

_Strangers waiting_

_Up and down the boulevard_

_Their shadows searching in the night_

_Streetlight people_

_Living just to find emotion_

_Hiding, somewhere in the night_

_Working hard to get my fill_

_Everybody wants a thrill_

_Payin' anything to roll the dice_

_Just one more time_

_Some will win, some will lose_

_Some were born to sing the blues_

_Oh, the movie never ends_

_It goes on and on and on and on_

_(Chorus)_

_Strangers waiting_

_Up and down the boulevard_

_Their shadows searching in the night_

_Streetlight people_

_Living just to find emotion_

_Hiding, somewhere in the night_

_Don't stop believin'_

_Hold on to the feelin'_

_Streetlight people_

_woahhh, woahhhh_

_Don't stop believin'_

_Hold on..._

_Streetlight people_

_Ohhh, woahhhh_

_Don't stop believin'_

_Hold on to that feelin'_

_Streetlight people_

Me: Alright, thanks for listening! See you next week!

Tarrant: Up is down. Now that's just maddingly unhelpful.

Alice: What is he muttering about?

Tarrant: We're rascals, scoundrels, villians and knaves-

Stayne: Actually, I'm the only knave here...

Tarrant: We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs, drink up me hearties yo ho!

Iracebeth: Kind of...catchy.

Tarrant: NOBODY MOVE! I've dropped me brain.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everybody! Thanks to common demand, this story will NOT wrap up anytime soon. So keep those dares coming! Okay. I'm done. Wow, that was a short A/N. ****I don't own Alice in Wonderland! If I did, everyone would be wearing hats. (TWIPI reference! - she's an author!) ****FYI, I'm sorry I won't be updating as frequently. I OWN NOTHING! **

**And I support Stayne/Alice, Mad Hatter/Alice, and Mad Hatter/Mirana, but I put a bit of Mirana/Hatter/Alice in there because Stayne's too amazing to be with anyone xD**

**Viewer discretion is advised. xD**

Me: Welcome back to another episode of Truth or Dare!

Mallymkun: You really should get your own jingle.

Me: I should! First up, from jjhatter, who was ever so patient with me, Stayne, you have a dare.

Stayne: What is it this time?

Me: Don't sound so ungrateful. You're popular! "Stayne, the ever stoic Knave-

Stayne: Stoic?

Mirana: Don't interrupt.

Me: -must be chained to Alice for _two _episodes."

Alice: *gets down on knees* WHYYYYYYYYYY?

Chessur: *chains Alice and Stayne together* Sorry, love.

Alice: *pouts*

Me: Dare number two, "Tarrant, the extremely Mad Hatter, must tell seven knock-knock jokes...AND THEY BETTER BE GOOD!"

Tarrant: I'll do my best. My personal favourite: Iracebeth, knock knock.

Iracebeth: Who's there?

Tarrant: Interrupting cow.

Iracebeth: Interrupting co-

Tarrant: MOO!

Iracebeth: Interrupting-

Tarrant: MOO!

Iracebeth: *face reddening* INTER-

Tarrant: MOO! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Next joke. Mazie, knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Tarrant: Cargo.

Me: Cargo who?

Tarrant: No, car go BEEP BEEP! *laughs manically* CHESS! KNOCK KNOCK!

Chessur: Who is there?

Tarrant: The.

Chessur: The who?

Tarrant: (mysterious voice) Exactly. Iracebeth, knock knock!

Iracebeth: Who's there?

Tarrant: You know.

Iracebeth: You know who?

Tarrant: EXACTLY! AVADA KEDAVRA! Alice, knock knock.

Alice: Who's there?

Tarrant: Bless.

Alice: Bless who?

Tarrant: I didn't sneeze! AHAHAHAHAHA! Mirana, knock knock.

Mirana: Who's there?

Tarrant: Hatch.

Mirana: Hatch who?

Tarrant: BLESS YA! Knock knock, Stayne.

Stayne: Who's there?

Tarrant: Me!

Stayne: Me who?

Tarrant: That's right!

Stayne: What's right?

Tarrant: Meehoo!

Stayne: That's what I want to know!

Tarrant: What's what you want to know?

Stayne: Me, WHO?

Tarrant: Yes, exactly!

Stayne: Exactly what?

Tarrant: Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain!

Stayne: Exactly what on a chain?

Tarrant: Yes!

Stayne: This is madness. Can we stop?

Me: Yepp. Hope that satisfied you jjhatter! Still from him/her, she wants...is everybody listening? Hopefully you're not asleep by now because Chess has to kiss

Mallymkun!

Alice: YAY! I thought you two looked so cute together!

Tweedle-dee: They do, don't they?

Tweedle-dum: Don't they? I think them should kiss now.

Mallymkun: Oh, fine.

Chessur: I'd be happy to oblige. *kisses Mally*

Everyone except Iracebeth: AWWWWWWWWHH!

Mallymkun: That wasn't as terrible as I thought it'd be.

Me: Alright, next truth from jjhatter, what ever happened to Dinah, Alice?

Alice: (depressed tone) She died last year. She was getting on in her years, and she just passed away one day.

Tarrant: Are you okay, m'lady?

Alice: Yeah, I'm good now. Besides, I've got Bandersnatch!

Bandersnatch: *purrs? barks? i'm really not sure*

Me: Thackery, please read the next one.

Thackery: Be happy to, young 'un. Well, both from IngloriousShosanna and xXEmoVampirateXx Stayne, you have to be kissing Alice again.

Stayne: YES! *kisses Alice*

Alice: Well, your technique is a little better than last time.

Iracebeth: That'll be my doing, of course.

Stayne: Sure...

Me: Moving on. xXEmoVampirateXx dares Mirana to wear black all day and act like a (insert profanity here) all day. Iracebeth has to be nice all day and go all day without screaming "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" and Tarrant has to go to aboveworld, a.k.a. any land on Earth and say hello, and Stayne has to dye his hair pink.

Mirana, Stayne, Iracebeth: WHAT?

Me: I think there should be another word besides "what" we should say when we're surprised. How about "fez?"

Stayne: You're only saying that because you like Tarrant.

Me: No! My favourite character is Chess, then you Stayne, then Tarrant.

Tarrant: FEZ? I'm after this scalawag?

Me: Yes. Sorry. But Tarrant, just go and say hello to people.

Tarrant: YAY! SOCIALIZATION! *leaves*

Me: Stayne, let me dye your hair.

Stayne: Fez? NO!

Me: Do you trust anybody else here to dye your hair?

Stayne:...No. Fine. *gets hair dyed by me!*

Iracebeth: No offense, Ilosovic, but you look like a Victoria Secret model.

Me: Hey hey hey! You have to be nice, Iracebeth.

Iracebeth: I will be! Mazie, your hair is...unique today.

Me: Um...thanks? This is so awkward. Mirana, did you get dressed?

Mirana: What does it look like, moron?

Me: I don't think I like this so much...

Mirana: Not my problem. *Tarrant comes back*

Tarrant: Only 7 people I said hi to said hi back...they all thought I was a weirdo. One kid even screamed, "IT'S NOT HALLOWEEN!" at me! WHAT THE HECK IS A HALLOWEENIE?

Me: Tarrant, I've got a dare for you! You're just in time. Mirana, please read.

Mirana: No.

Me: Alice?

Alice: Sure! Okay, Hats-For-Alice wants you to say "Lauren is a bonny-wee lass." in your Scottish accent.

Tarrant: That's relatively easy. (Scottish brogue) Lauren is a conny- wait, sorry, bonny-wee lass.

Chessur: Intriguing. May I read the next dare, Mazie?

Me: Of course Chess!

Chessur: From Salsaxxx, Mirana, if you had to kiss someone in the room, who would it be?

Mirana: Tarrant Hightopp.

Alice: HE'S MY HUSBAND!

Mirana: SO?

Me: MOVING ON! Man, you people get distracted easily.

Mallymkun: It's called a short attention span.

Chessur: Oh, and Salsaxxx also dares everyone to throw pies at Stayne. And he just has to sit there.

Everyone except me and Stayne: YAY!

Stayne: Oh joy.

Chessur: And the best part is, you can't protest or fight back! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Thackery: I didn't know you were that evil CAT!

*pies magically appear in room*

Me: WOAH. HOW DID THESE PIES GET HERE?

Alice: I don't know and don't care. Let's throw!

*everyone throws pies at Stayne, who sulks. OBVIOUSLY. I mean, you would be sulking too, right?*

Tarrant: I feel bad. These pies did nothing to deserve being wasted on Stayne.

Iracebeth: Stayne isn't a waste! He's the most wonderful person in the world!

Me: I wanna eat pie now. This key lime pie is basically calling my name.

Key Lime Pie: Mazie...Mazie...you know you want me...I know I want ya...you know you want me...ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, uno, dos, quatro...

Me: YOU SEE? *eats pie*

Mallymkun: I think Stayne's plenty covered in pie now.

Stayne: Am I allowed to eat it?

Me: I think so. Next dare!

Tarrant: From chibiryoko92, Stayne, how did you lose your eye?

Stayne: From capturing the Bandersnatch. YOU TRY WRESTLING A MASSIVE DOG!

Me: Mirana, can you read the other question from chibiryoko92?

Mirana: MAKE ME.

(5 minutes later)

Mirana: OKAY, OKAY, I'LL READ IT! JUST TURN JUSTIN BIEBER OFF!

Me: mwahahaha...

Mirana: Still from the same author, he/she wants Iracebeth to do something nice for someone who really needs it.

Iracebeth: What am I supposed to do? Go out and sell Girl Scout cookies?

Tarrant: *grins mischievously*

(1 hour later)

Iracebeth: Okay, I sold 14 Thin Mints, 7 Peanut Butter Patties, 3 Trefoils and 9 Samoas.

Me: NOW DONATE IT TO CHARITY!

Iracebeth: FEZ? Fine.

Me: Well, that was interesting. Hope you all enjoyed this episode. Everyone say bye!

Everyone: BYE!

**Right...so I own nothing...(as much as I'd like to own Girl Scout Cookies, I don't) so...send in your dares and I'll see ya as soon as I can! **

**Fez. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Welcome back! I don't have much to say except that I own nothing...I don't know if you guys even read these but please do! Some of my A/Ns are entertaining...this one is not. Remember to beware the Nargles and instead of "what?" say "FEZ!" **

**macadoodles is not responsible for any laughter, laughing fits, or tears that may occur during Truth or Dare.* Truth or Dare is not right for everyone, such as boring people and Alice in Wonderland haters. Please consult your doctor to see if Truth or Dare is right for you. **

***actually, I think I am responsible for laughter. Who's the person writing this thing anyway? ME! So just ignore that first line. :D thanks for reading! **

Me: HEY! How are all you reviewers out there? Good day? Bad day? Hopefully this'll cheer you up. I'm a very cheery person, so lets get to the daring. Just to recap, Stayne is still chained to Alice.

Alice: Hi.

Tarrant: So does this mean you're Alice in Chains?

Alice: I'm Alice, and I'm in chains...

Me: I LOVE ALICE IN CHAINS! It's a great band. Not as great as Coldplay...

Mirana: Are we going to be dared or what?

Me: Don't sass me girlfriend.

Mirana: I am the Sassmaster.

Iracebeth: She is. She holds the title.

Me: ANYWAYS...first dare from Rurple101, Tarrant has to say to Alice that he loves her, and Alice, you have to shout FEZ! Then you have to repeat it every time you speak to her.

Tarrant: I love you, Alice.

Alice: FEZ?

Tarrant: *grins* Tea, anyone?

Stayne: I'll pass.

Me: Well, that dare is also like Halicefan1's dare, which is that Alice and Tarrant have to keep saying "I love you" every 2 minutes for the whole episode.

Tarrant: I can do that. I love you, Alice.

Alice: *smiles* Fez? I love you too!

Me: Still from Halicefan1, Stayne and Iracebeth have to switch clothes for the whole episode, whether they fit or not.

Stayne: WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?

Iracebeth: Hey! I was just about to say that!

Alice: Yeah, well, people have a reason to hate you.

Iracebeth: *sticks tongue out*

Me: Just switch clothing.

***blah, blah, protest, protest, I uncuff Stayne, he gets dressed, I chain him to Alice again, blah, blah, "I LOOK LIKE A DIMBO!" blah, blah***

Me: Next dare, from Hats-For-Alice, Alice, you have to dress like a boy and tie your hair up.

Alice: That's simple. *I uncuff Alice for a moment, she gets dressed, I chain her to Stayne again* Couldn't I just stay unchained?

Me: No! That's not the point of Truth or Dare! At the end of this episode, I'll unchain you.

Alice: FINE!

Me: STOP ACTING LIKE A DEPRESSED TEENAGER!

Alice: THAT'S BECAUSE I AM DEPRESSED! I'm chained to this guy!

Stayne: HEY! I HAVE A NAME YOU KNOW!

Iracebeth: Isn't there another way to settle our problems besides screaming?

Mirana: Hark who's talking, you do it all the time!

Iracebeth: SO? I'm a special case.

Stayne: Obviously.

Chessur: Folks, from jjhatter, the Tweedles must recite "Green Eggs and Ham," by Dr. Seuss.

Tweedle-dee: And so we shall.

Me: But not the entire thing, because that would be really long and I want to get everyone's dares in!

Tweedle-dum: Aye, aye, captain.

Tweedle-dee: I am Sam. Sam I am! Do you like green eggs and ham?

Tweedle-dum: I do not like them, Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham.

Tweedle-dee: Would you like them here or there?

Tweedle-dum: I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. i do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I am.

Tweedle-dee: Would you like them with a mouse? Would you like them in a house?

Tweedle-dum: I do not like them in a house, I do not like them in a mouse. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I am.

Tweedle-dee: Would you? Could you? In a car? Eat them! Eat them! Here they are.

Tweedle-dum: I would not, could not, in a car.

Tweedle-dee: You may like them. You will see. You may like them in a tree!

Tweedle-dum: I would not, could not, in a tree. Not in a car! You let me be.

Tweedle-dee: So you say. Try them! Try them! And you may. Try them and you may, I say!

Tweedle-dum: Sam! If you will let me be, I will try them. You will see! Say...I like green eggs and ham! I do! I like them, Sam I am! I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you, thank you, Sam I am!

Me: That was magnificent! Alright, Mally, how about you read the next question?

Mallymkun: Be happy to! Whoa.

Me: What?

Tarrant: I love you, Alice. AND YOU DIDN'T SAY FEZ! WHO'S THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Me: Sorry! Fez?

Mallymkun: There's a lot here. Okay, from Ranguvar27, Stayne is topless for the rest of the fic.

Stayne: YES! I can get out of this infernal dress! *gets pants on, takes off shirt*

Me: *snorts* Infernal. **yes, I snort at the word "infernal." word of the day! **

Mallymkun: Mirana has to dye her gown and hair bright blue. But Justalittlebatty13 also wishes you dye your hair black with red streaks...so your hair will be black with red streaks but your dress has to be blue.

Me: I have blue dye in my garage!

Mirana: (sighs dramatically) If the reviewers wish it. It goes against my vows, but I shall. *dyes dress and hair*

Me: You look like you live on Pandora!

Mallymkun: Iracebeth has to do the chicken dance.

Iracebeth: The FEZ?

Tarrant: I love you, Alice. The chicken dance! It goes like this! I DON'T WANNA BE A CHICKEN-

Thackery: I DON'T WANNA BE A DUCK-

Both of the mad mammals: SO I SHAKE MY BUTT! *clap clap clap!*

Iracebeth: Oh wow. *dances, flaps arms, the whole thing* Do I have to sing?

Me: YES!

Iracebeth: I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, so I shake my butt? You call this music?

Me: Nope. We call it comedy. Anything else from Ranguvar27?

Mallymkun: Yepp. Lots. Tarrant has to hop like a bunny.

Tarrant: Okay! *hops* There, done! That was fun. I should hop more often.

Mallymkun: Alice, you give Chessur a tummy rub.

Alice: Okay...

Chessur: *purrs* Oh that feels divine...

Me: *snorts AGAIN*

Mallymkun: And Ranguvar27 wants to know why Stayne is so...so...

Stayne: Go on.

Mallymkun: (whispers) -sexy.

Stayne: Well, I don't really know. Maybe it's the 200 pounds I bench press every morning or the 5 miles I run or all that swordplay I constantly practice.

Mallymkun: Ugh. Well, Tarrant, why the orange hair?

Tarrant: Children, here's a history lesson. Many hatters back in the days suffered mercury poisoning from using mercury to cure pelts. So, I got poisoned, and the mercury just spread to my hair. It is quite stylish, though, is it not? But a word to the wise...just use dye. NO USING MERCURY TO MAKE YOUR HAIR ORANGE, KAY?

Mallymkun: Mirana, are you really as sweet and kind as you seem?

Mirana: Most of the time. But you know what really ticks me off? Besides Justin Bieber?

Everyone: FEZ?

Mirana: Miley Cyrus. Well, her and when I'm all comfy in bed and I remember I forgot to blow my candle out and it's on the other side of the room.

Everyone: *silence*

Mallymkun: Two more questions...Chess, why are you so awesome? And what happened to the Duchess?

Chessur: She died of pepper poisoning and I can disappear! That's what makes me soawesome.

Me: From Salsaxxx, she dares Stayne and Iracebeth to do the Futterwacken!

Iracebeth: Oh great. More dancing.

Alice: Who's singing now?

Ke$ha: There's a place downtown, where the freaks all come around. There's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free-for-all, and they turn me on, when they, take it off, when they, take it off, everybody take it off!

Stayne: Where do you find this people Mazie?

Me: Wal-mart. Now dance, pretty boy!

Stayne: Alright. *Futterwackens with Iracebeth*

Ke$ha: There's a place I know, if you're looking for a show, where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor. And they turn me on, when they, take it off! Bye Mazie! Next time you see GaGa, tell her I want to see "The Other Guys" with her!

Me: Okay! Moving on, Tarrant has to sing Mirana, Iracebeth, Alice and Stayne to sleep with a lullaby. Love, Salsaxxx.

Tarrant: Peace is flowing like a river...flowing out to you and me...flowing out into the desert...setting all the captives free. Baby beluga in the deep blue sea, you swim so wild and you swim so free, heaven above and the sea below, and a little white whale on the go. SomeWHERE over the rainbow-

Me: I think they're asleep. WAKE UP!

Stayne: Hey! I was napping here!

Iracebeth: Too bad.

Me: Still from Salsaxxx, Mally, what is your greatest fear?

Mallymkun: Hummingbirds. They're shifty.

Me: Well said. Thackery, kiss Iracebeth.

Thackery: Sure. *kisses Iracebeth*

Iracebeth: UGH! I HAVE FUR IN MY MOUTH NOW!

Me: Alice, I'm sorry to say this, but Naomily4EVA wants you to divorce Tarrant and marry Stayne. It is also requested from Mercedes Aria. Oh, and Mercedes Aria wants Tarrant to marry Mirana and to have a kid with her.

Alice: *gets down on knees AGAIN* WHYYYY?

Stayne: Thank you, Naomily4EVA! And Mercedes Aria! Remind me to send you a fruit basket later.

**(blah blah blah, divorces Tarrant, blah blah blah, you may kiss the bride Stayne, blah blah blah 9 months later we have a Tarrant Jr. Yes, it was a boy who is not going to be in this fic. Let's say he's being babysitted) **

Me: Wow, that dare took forever. Anyways, from Naomily4EVA, Iracebeth has to be a good sister-

Iracebeth: Who said I wasn't?

Mirana: Um, Mom and Dad?

Iracebeth: Shut up.

Me: BE NICE! And Alice, would you rather kiss Iracebeth or Mirana?

Alice: I'm straight, but I would kiss Mirana if I had to choose.

Me: And finally, by request from The Obsessionist, everyone, drawing contest!

(1 hour later)

Me: I'm judging! Tarrant...uh...what is this?

Tarrant: It's a Blibbering Humdinger! What else?

Alice: I drew a flower.

Iracebeth: Puh-lease. My crown and jewels and portrait of Stayne is so much better.

Me: Well, I guess Tarrant wins! That's all for today, I hope everyone's happy! FEZ and virtual cookies for all!

**Sorry for hating on Justin Bieber the previous chapter, but...I hate him. I really don't like his music, or Miley's either. No offense to all the Beliebers out there! Or Cyrus fans! Just stating my opinion. **

**Alice: HATE IS A MEAN WORD!  
Me: Okay! I dislike him with a burning passion. =D Um, this is an odd request...but I'm not just the host here. Could I be dared, pretty please with Battenburg on top? I'm having a blast doing this...but I want to do something crazy too! USE THOSE INSANE IMAGINATIONS! Thanks! **

**Dr. Seuss owns "Green Eggs and Ham!"**

**Ke$ha's song is "Take It Off" which has been stuck in my head for FOREVER. **


	8. Chapter 8

**AHH! I was procrastinating again, sorry, but I got a total of FIFTEEN reviews for the last chapter! THANK YOU ALL! =D and I really mean that. And I kind of had to go to the emergency room...but that's a really long story. Anyways...**

**Oh, and to all who dared the Wonderland crew to sing, if you dared them to sing three or four songs I only picked one or two, because then this chapter would've been SUPER SUPER long. Enjoy! **

**I OWN NOTHING! All belongs to Disney and Tim Burton. And "One of Us" belongs to Lion King 2...and the other things belong to Lewis Carroll...and Willard...and Chicago. You get it. I own nada. Zero. Zip. If I did own this, this would have been a comedy TV show by now. **

Me: Welcome back! How are ya doing? What's up?

Tarrant: The sky.

Me: Thank you, Captain Obvious. First dare! From jjhatter, Iracebeth has to make a batch of Squimberry tarts and share them with Mirana.

Iracebeth: FINE! *storms off in a huff to my kitchen*

Me: Still from jjhatter, Tarrant has to dress up as Ichabod Crane. He's the guy from the Sleep Hollow story.

Tarrant: MORE CHARACTER STUDY! YAY! *runs off to my closet*

Me: A question, Chess, do you have a crush on anyone in the room? If so, answer the question by giving them a lick on the nose!

Chessur: *licks Mally on her nose*

Everyone but Stayne: AWWHHHHH! *Iracebeth comes back*

Iracebeth: Here you go Mirana.

Me: Now that you're back, Miss Behaving, jjhatter wants you to do the quadrille with Stayne.

Stayne: I hate life.

Me: *phone rings, I pick it up* Yes, he's here. Stayne, 1981 called, they want their teenage angst back.

Thackery: *plays music* GET DANCING FOOL!

Stayne: *dances with Iracebeth*

Iracebeth: Oh, Ilosovic.

Stayne: Am I done now?

Me: Yepp. *Tarrant comes back*

Tarrant: I AM A CRANE!

Alice: Tarrant, it was ICHABOD Crane, not A crane!

Tarrant: Oh. Sorry! *goes back to change*

Me: While he's gone, from Lilith Encodead, Mally, you have to brush Cheshire's teeth until they're pearly white.

Mallymkun: Can do! *gets toothbrush, brushes cat teeth*

Chessur: Thank you, m'dear.

Me: From alicehatter239, I have bad news. Especially bad for you, Mrs. Stayne.

Alice: (irritated) _What? _

Hamish: I'm in for the next two episodes! Isn't that _wonderful? _

Alice: *goes off to vomit*

Tarrant: I'm back! I'm scared of the no-headed guy riding a horse!

Me: Great, now we can get on with the game...from Mina-Marie Kiki, Tarrant, give Stayne a five minute hug GO!

Tarrant: *while hugging Stayne* He smells like strawberries.

Stayne: You smell in general.

Me: You're done! *Alice comes back*

Tarrant: Alice, what's the red-headed newt doing here?

Hamish: I AM NOT A NEWT!

Alice: By request of alicehatter239...

Me: Alice, from Lilith Encodead, sit on Tarrant's lap and "meep" him.

Alice: "Meep?"

Me: By Lilith's definition, its "The person giving the "meep" must place their fingertip on the end of the other person's nose, and press down as softly or as forcefully as they wish, and say "meep" (as loudly or as quietly as they wish.) Understand?

Alice: I guess. *sits on Tarrant's lap and presses his nose* MEEP! *gets up*

Me: Okay, next Hats-For-Alice wants everyone to tell the truth. Are you honestly happy with who you're married to right now?

Tarrant, Alice: Not really...

Stayne: WELL, DUH!

Mirana: I don't really have an opinion...

Me: And Hats-For-Alice wants me to have a dance-off with the Futterwacken against Tarrant! YES!

Hamish: Futter-what?

Mallymkun: Shut up, Hamishy.

Chessur: And who, may I ask, is singing today?

Taio Cruz: I throw my hands up in the air sometimes-

Stayne: Saying AYO! (gets a strange look from everyone) What? I LIKE THIS SONG, IS THAT A CRIME?

Me: Are you ready for this?

Tarrant: It's on like soy sauce on a won ton! *dances*

Taio Cruz: We're gonna rock this club, we're gonna go all night, we're gonna light it up, like it's dy-no-mite! 'Cuz I told you once, now I told you twice, we're gonna light it up, like it's dy-no-mite! Later, Mazinator!

Stayne: WAIT! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!

Taio Cruz: (weirded out)...um, sure, ridiculously tall person. *signs a paper, leaves*

Mirana: I think Tarrant won.

Alice: Same here.

Hamish: I have to concur.

Me: Wow. Tough crowd. Moving on, Mad as a Hattress dares all of us to sing, "He is Not One of Us" from the Lion King 2, to Stayne!

Alice: Deception...

Mirana: Disgrace...

Tarrant: EVIL AS PLAIN AS THE SCAR ON HIS FACE!

Stayne: Hardy ha ha. Shut up.

Tweedle-dee: Deception-

Tweedle-dum: An outrage!

Tweedle-dee: Disgrace-

Tweedle-dum: For shame!

Tweedles: He asked for trouble the moment he came!

Iracebeth: Deception-

Thackery: An outrage!

Alice: Disgrace-

Mirana: For shame!

Chessur: You know these Outsider types-

Tweedles: He asked for trouble the moment he came...

Mallymkun: See ya later, agitator!

Tarrant: Deception-

Me: An outrage!

Mirana: Disgrace-

Iracebeth: For shame!

Tweedles: He asked for trouble the moment he came...

Mallymkun: See ya later, agitator!

Everyone: _Born in grief_

_Raised in hate_

_Helpless to defy his fate_

_Let him run_

_Let him live_

_But do not forget what we cannot forgive_

_And he is not one of us_

_He has never been one of us_

_He is not part of us_

_Not our kind_

_Someone once lied to us_

_Now we're not so blind_

_For we knew he would do what he's done_

_And we know that he'll never be one of us_

Stayne: ALRIGHT! I get it!

Me: That was fun. Okay, from Salsaxxx, I have to kiss Stayne...

Stayne: But I'm married!

Me: So? *kisses Stayne* It's just a game.

Stayne: *stares blankly at me* You know you're a bad kisser..

Me: Sticks and stones, mate. Salsaxxx also wants Tarrant and Alice to sing and dance in the rain and then kiss in the rain. And there's a winking face too!

Thackery: It's not ever raining!

*BOOM!*

Thackery: Never mind...

Hamish: Why am I even here?

Me: For comic relief. Now you two lovebirds leave, please?

*they sing Baby It's Cold Outside and kiss, blah blah blah :) and come inside soaked*

Me: Still from the one and only Salsaxxx, Stayne, tell us all how Tarrant managed to defeat you on that fateful Frabjous Day..

Stayne: I was distracted. By Alice...

Me: Okay...something I really didn't want to know. Everyone has to sing Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen!

EVERYONE:

_Is this the real life?_

_Is this just fantasy?_

_Caught in a landslide_

_No escape from reality_

_Open your eyes_

_Look up to the skies and see_

_I'm just a poor boy (Poor boy)_

_I need no sympathy_

_Because I'm easy come, easy go_

_Little high, little low_

_Any way the wind blows_

_Doesn't really matter to me, to me_

_Mama just killed a man_

_Put a gun against his head_

_Pulled my trigger, now he's dead_

_Mama, life has just begun_

_But now I've gone and thrown it all away_

_Mama, ooh_

_Didn't mean to make you cry_

_If I'm not back again this time tomorrow_

_Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters_

_Too late, my time has come_

_Sends shivers down my spine_

_Body's aching all the time_

_Goodbye, everybody_

_I've got to go_

_Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth_

_Mama, oooooooh (Anyway the wind blows)_

_I don't want to die_

_Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all_

_I see a little silhouetto of a man_

_Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango_

_Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me_

_(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro_

_Magnifico-o-o-o-o_

_I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me_

_He's just a poor boy from a poor family_

_Spare him his life from this monstrosity_

_Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?_

_Bismillah! No, we will not let you go_

_Let him go_

_Bismillah! We will not let you go_

_Let him go_

_Bismillah! We will not let you go_

_Let me go (Will not let you go)_

_Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never, never, never)_

_Let me go, o, o, o, o_

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no_

_(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me go_

_Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for me, for me!_

_So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye_

_So you think you can love me and leave me to die_

_Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby_

_Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here_

_(Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah)_

_Nothing really matters_

_Anyone can see_

_Nothing really matters_

_Nothing really matters to me_

_Any way the wind blows..._

Me: WONDERFUL! Allllright, from IngloriousShosanna, Stayne, seduce Alice properly, no shoving against walls this time!

Hamish: I can't watch this...

Stayne: Alice, my love, *hands her a rose* you are my one, my only, my-

Alice: No. Just...just no.

Me: Um, okay...I got this dare from a lot of people, so by mutual agreement from alicehatter239, Halicefan1, and Keitii Manga, Tarrant and Mirana please divorce, and same with you, Alice and Stayne. Except Halicefan1 wanted Alice to cheat on Stayne with Tarrant...but it's close...right?

*blah blah blah, divorce papers, Tarrant gets custody of Tarrant Jr., blah blah blah ;)*

Me: From Keitii Manga, there's officially a restraining order on every female unless a dare brings them together. And I have to tackle-glomp Stayne. And yes, I'd like that.

Stayne: Um, what's a "glomp?"

Me: *GLOMP!* **_LAWL!_**

Stayne: You're a good hugger...

Me: I AM THE QUEEN OF AMAZING HUGS! AND GLOMPING! Anyways, now that I'm slightly saner than I was a couple of seconds ago, Ranguvar27 wants everyone to recite "You Are Old Father William" by Lewis Carroll.  
Everyone:

**"You are old, father William," the young man said,  
"And your hair has become very white;  
And yet you incessantly stand on your head  
Do you think, at your age, it is right?**

****

"In my youth," father William replied to his son,  
"I feared it might injure the brain;  
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,  
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,  
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;  
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door  
Pray what is the reason for that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,  
"I kept all my limbs very supple  
By the use of this ointment one shilling a box  
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak  
For anything tougher than suet;  
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak  
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his fater, "I took to the law,  
And argued each case with my wife;  
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,  
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose  
That your eye was as steady as ever;  
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose  
What made you so awfully clever?"

**"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"  
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!  
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?  
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs. **

Thackery: I like that poem.

Hamish: Why can the animals talk?

Mallymkun: Don't ask stupid questions like that.

Me: Rang wants you to go for an hour without your sword.

Mallymkun: IT'S A NEEDLE, SMART ONE. AND YOU BETTER LEARN TO SLEEP WITH YOUR EYES OPEN!

Tarrant: I'm scared.

Alice: It's alright Tarrant, I'm here. *smiles*

Iracebeth: *fake-vomits*

Me: Tarrant, dance the waltz with Iracebeth.

Tarrant: (whiny) BUT WHYYYYYY?

Me: BECAUSE RANG SAID SO, THAT'S WHY. NOW DANCE, HATMAKER!

Tarrant: (glum) Okay...

Thackery: Ba-da-da-da-dum, dink dink, dink dink, ba-da-da-da-dum, dink dink, dink dink-

Iracebeth: Enough with the background music.

Me: Tarrant, how many colours can your eyes become?

Tarrant: Forty two.

Me: And Alice, how glad are you that you didn't marry that smug git Hamish?

Hamish: HEY!

Alice: Very glad. Your digestive problems are...disturbing.

Hamish: *pouts*

Me: Stayne, Rang wants you to juggle eggs...

Stayne: *juggles eggs, they all fall on his head*

Alice: TAKE A BATH, HIPPIE!

Me: And I have to give all the boys a kiss. Including Chess and Thackery.

Chessur: Pucker up, darling.

Me: *after I've kissed everyone* I have fur. IN. MY. MOUTH.

Thackery: IT WAS CHESS!

Me: Anyways, Maxine the unknowingly admired wants Stayne to have a white rat on his shoulder and call it Socrates every 3 seconds and you have to sing "Ben" and "All I Care About is Love" from Willard and Chicago.

Stayne: Whoopee. I am almost bursting with joy. SOCRATES!

Ben, the two of us need look no more (SOCRATES!)

We both found what we were looking for

With a friend to call my own

I'll never be alone

And you my friend will see (SOCRATES!)

You've got a friend in me

(You've got a friend in me)

Ben, you're always running here and there

(Here and there)

You feel you're not wanted anywhere

(Anywhere)

If you ever look behind (SOCRATES!)

And don't like what you find

There's something you should know

You've got a place to go

(You've got a place to go)

I used to say "I" and "me" (SOCRATES!)

Now it's "us", now it's "we"

I used to say "I" and "me"

Now it's "us", now it's "we"

Ben, most people would turn you away

I don't listen to a word they say

They don't see you as I do

I wish they would try to (SOCRATES!)

I'm sure they'd think again

If they had a friend like Ben

(A friend)

Like Ben

(Like Ben)

Like Ben

Stayne: Next, I shall sing All I Care About is Love. SOCRATES!

Me: Don't sound so formal.

We want Billy  
Where is Billy  
Give us Billy  
We want Billy  
B-I double L-Y  
We're all his  
He's our kind of a guy  
And ooh what luck  
Cuz here he is

Ladies and Gentlemen  
Presenting the silver tongued prince of the courtroom  
THE ONE THE ONLY  
Billy Flynn!

I don't care about expensive things (SOCRATES!)  
Cashmere coats, diamond rings  
Don't mean a thing  
All I care about is love  
That's what I'm here for(Thats what he's here for)

I don't care for wearing silk crevats (SOCRATES!)  
Ruby Studs, Satin Spats  
Don't mean a thing  
All I care about is(all he cares about is love) love  
Give me two eyes of blue  
Softly saying "I need You"  
Let me see her standing there and  
Honest mister I'm a millionaire (SOCRATES!)

I don't care for any fine attire  
Vanderbilt might admire  
No no not me  
All I care about is(all he cares about is love) love  
(whistling)  
that's what he's here for (SOCRATES!)  
(whistling continues)  
All he cares about is love

Show me long raven hair  
Flowing down bout to there  
When I see her runnin' free  
Keep your money  
That's enough for me (SOCRATES!)

I don't care for driving packard cars  
Or smoking long buck cigars  
No no not me(woooo)  
All I care about is doing the guy in  
Who's picking on you  
Twisting the wrist that's turning the screw

All I (he) care (cares) about is LOVE!

Me: You...are a horrible singer.

Stayne: Sticks and stones, mate.

Me: Ha ha. Lol. NOT FUNNY. Rurple101 wants to ask Mirana...why did you spit in Alice's potion to make her shrink?

Mirana: You need the spit of royalty in Pishalver, else it won't work.

Me: Stayne, teach Tarrant Jr. to sword fight.

Stayne: WHERE'S THE RASCAL?

Tarrant Jr: Here Uncle Stayne!

*they teach, blah blah blah, Stayne gets hurt, blah blah blah, Tarrant Jr. pins him to the ground*

Stayne: LET ME UP YOU SCOTTISH CRETIN!

Tarrant: HEY! DON'T YE INSULT MA SON!

Me: Break it up, and T-J? That's what I'm gonna call you, Tarrant Jr. T-J.

Tarrant Jr: Okay! And what?

Me: Think Alice is your mum instead of Mirana.

T-J: Hi mom!

Alice: (fondly) Hello, um, son.

Me: Well...sadly, that's all the time we have for today. I'm sorry this was super long, and it might've been boring, but hope you liked it! SEE YA LATER AND HAPPY FRABJOUS DAY! CALLOU! CALLAY!

**Woah that was really long. Anyways, to all who dared me, THANK YOU. And to all who dared everybody else, THANKS! I know a lot of people say that, but your reviews really matter. They keep the story going!**

**~macadoodles!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys, I want to apologize. Really. I've been a terrible authour to you readers, and I'm sorry for that. Here's the new chapter! I own nothing!**

Me: Welcome one, and welcome all! Let's start. From Kevin, Margaret is going to be in the next two chapters, and then everyone except Mirana to pull pranks on Iracebeth.

Margaret: Hi!

Alice: Hi Margaret! *hugs*

Stayne: YES! Pranks! FINALLY! *gives Iracebeth a wedgie*

Iracebeth: STAYNE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

Mallymkun: Well, at least we know the answer to the infamous question. Iracebeth of Crims, boxers or briefs?

Iracebeth: *face reddening* DON'T YOU DARE-

Mallymkun: BOXERS!

Alice: Okay, calm down. Kevin also wants to know if Stayne had to marry Iracebeth or Mirana, who would it be?

Stayne: Easy. Mirana.

Iracebeth: Everybody hates me, don't they.

Me: Uh, kind of. From Ranguvar27, they're sorry, Stayne, that they made you juggle eggs and well, ask me to give you a kiss! So, here. *kisses Stayne*

Stayne: Thanks. I forgive them..I guess..

Chessur: WAIT! Now for the dares...Stayne, kiss Mirana. Like, really kiss her.

Stayne: If I must! *snogs Mirana*

Mirana: That was disgusting. Really Rang? Really?

McTwisp: Yes, really! Now, everybody sing "You Are My Sunshine!"

Everyone:

You are my sunshine,  
My only sunshine,  
You make me happy,  
When skies are gray,  
You'll never know dear,  
How much I love you,  
Please don't take my sunshine away.

Iracebeth: What a perfectly horrid song.

Tarrant: I quite liked it, actually. I'm sorry, dear friend, but Thackery, you must go two episodes without throwing a thing.

Thackery: *gets down on knees* WHYY?

Margaret: Um, is he alright, Alice?

Alice: Perfectly sane.

Me: And lets have Tarrant throw pies at Hamish. AND HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO DUCK! MWAHAHAHAHA! *continues laughing manically*

Hamish:...Should I be worried?

Tarrant: *with key lime pie in hand* Yes. *throws pies with glee*

Me: Okay, that's good. I need some of those pies for Christmas. From Neverland child, Alice, kiss Tarrant.

Mirana: I'm losing track of how many times those two have kissed.

Alice: *kisses Tarrant* I don't mind.

Stayne: Oh, don't make me puke.

Chessur: Tarrant, from deathroman13, act like Ichabod Crane for a day. Including fainting.

Tarrant: Yay! More crazy man people! *faints*

Me: Um...what are we supposed to do with him?

Stayne: I say we get a marker and draw on his face!

Iracebeth: You do that, Ilosovic.

Me: Moving on! From IngloriousShosanna, Alice, marry Stayne and have kids.

Alice: Bit long of a dare, isn't it?

**(they get married, blah blah blah, Tarrant throws a fit, blah blah blah, nearly murders Stayne, blah blah blah, Alice and Stayne have twins, blah blah blah blah)**

**One year and lots of screaming later...**

Me: Well, now that's done...

Tarrant: I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! *faints*

Mallymkun: From jjhatter, Alice and Tarrant, sing "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera.

Alice: Will do!

Tarrant: No more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears. I'm here, nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you. Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry you tears. I'm here with you, beside you, to guard you and guide you...

Alice: Say you love me every waking moment, turn my head with talk of summertime...Say you need me with you now and always...Promise me that all you say is true, that's all I ask of you.

Tarrant: Let me be your shelter, let me be your light. You're safe, no one will find you, your fears are far behind you...

Alice: All I want is freedom, a world with no more night, and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...

Tarrant: Then say you'll share with me, one love, one lifetime. Let me lead you from your solitude. Say you need me with you here, beside you...anywhere you go, let me go too. Alice, that's all I ask of you.

Alice: Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...say the word and I will follow you...

Both: Share each day with me, each night, each morning...

Alice: Say you love me...

Tarrant: You know I do..

Both: Love me, that's all I ask of you, anywhere you go, let me go too. Love me, that's all I ask of you.

*APPLAUSE!*

Me: That was great guys. So, Chess, feel like acting like Garfield?

Chessur: Pardon?

Margaret: He's a fat orange cat. Which means...*gets orange paintbucket*

Chessur: NO! *disappears*

Me: Shoot, how are we supposed to find him now?

Chessur: *appears by the door* You're not. *runs away*

Margaret: I got this. *runs after him*

Thackery: What's next?

Tarrant: jjhatter would like Iracebethy to dye her hair blue.

Iracebeth: WHAT?

Me: I'd actually be happy to do that! *dyes Iracebeth's hair*

Thackery: YO LISTEN UP, HERE'S A STORY, ABOUT A YELLING QUEEN WHO LIVES IN A BLUE WORLD, AND ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT AND EVERYTHING SHE SEES IS JUST BLUE LIKE HER-

Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum: Inside and outside!

Tarrant: Blue her house, with a blue little window and a blue Corvette and everything is blue for her, and herself and everybody around-

Me: COZ SHE'S AIN'T GOT, NOBODY, TO LISTEN TO!

Alice: Okay...Stayne, hug Mirana every time someone says her name.

Stayne: Does that count?

Me: Probably. Yeah.

Mirana: *hugs Stayne* You smell like Ramen noodles.

Stayne: I got hungry. And have you noticed it's FREEZING outside?

Hamish: I would like to ask a question, if I may.

Me: Stop being so formal and you can, snot rod.

Hamish: Ahem hem. To Nivens, the White Rabbit, I pose this puzzler. Random question, but what is your favourite colour? Blue, gold, white, or none of the above?

Nivens: I must say I prefer blue. It's quite a calming colour, but scares me when it's on Iracebeth.

Iracebeth: OFFENSE TAKEN.

Margaret: And the Tweedles must perform at least part of Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?" skit.

Tweedle-Dee: This will be plenty of fun, this will.

Tweedle-Dum: Plenty of fun this will be!

Tweedle-Dum: Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...

Tweedle-Dee: (As Costello) What's the guy's name on first base?

Tweedle-Dum: (As Abbott) No. What is on second.

Tweedle-Dee: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Tweedle-Dum: Who's on first.

Tweedle-Dee: I don't know.

Tweedle-Dum: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Tweedle-Dee: Now how did I get on third base?

Tweedle-Dum: Why, you mentioned his name!

Tweedle-Dee: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Tweedle-Dum: No. Who's playing first.

Tweedle-Dee: What's on first?

Tweedle-Dum: What's on second.

Tweedle-Dee: I don't know.

Tweedle-Dum: He's on third.

Tweedle-Dee: There I go, back on third again!

Hamish: I lost it at What's on second...

Tarrant: I understood it! Why can't Abbott understand that I don't know is on third! They always get back to that...

Mallymkun: From Katherine NotGreat, Stayne, are you related to the late Serbian president, and are you of Slavonic or German descent?

Stayne: Um, no, no, and no. I'm actually from this small town in Underland, right under this place called Luxembourg in Overland.

McTwisp: And Alice, why are you wearing a dress meant for girls under 14 and 15 at age 19?

Alice: Well, I liked the dress alot, and there was no way I would ever wear the dresses that my mother got me for 19 year olds. They were atrocious.

Me: Did you really just say atrocious?

Alice: Yes. Why?

Me: Atrocious. Atrocious. I think it'll be my word of the week. So, my apologies to Katherine NotGreat, can you please PM me what a chardash is and the cock-a-doodle? And the Hamlet scene? I would've done it but I had no idea what it was. Promise it'll be in the next chapter!

Everyone: SEE YA NEXT TIME!

**Please review! **

**~macadoodles**


End file.
